


ACCEPTING THE CONCEPT OF SELF

by turbovrgin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-09-28 02:22:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20418314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turbovrgin/pseuds/turbovrgin
Summary: a series of characters dear to me working out gender and a look through gender theory when the world has ended and been remade by you





	1. Chapter 1

It has come to my attention that I am different. While that isn't new, it's the way I am different

I am a transgender girl.

Is it nature or nurture, did that little tube I was in got it all wrong or was truly meant to be.

Do we live in a society?

Is that a valid reason when you're 11 years old and you live in the woods with your mother, and you are not connected with society.

I know that my mother will accept me with a violent passion, and will jump at the opportunity to wrap me up in pretty dresses and teach me the womanly intricacies of black lipgloss and gaudy eyeshadow. While that isn't really my taste, if it will help assert my girlhood on the world I'll go with it. I will say my goodbye to my lovely collection of trousers and button ups and dress shoes, and subject myself to a life of knee-length skirts, pearl necklaces and fanciful ballet flats. 

Do girls only like it when other girls wear flowy dresses and pearls or are brogues and button up shirts ok?

Not only has it come to my attention that I’m transgender but also that I am a lesbian, technically. Boys are pretty, I will admit that, but I wouldn't kiss one.

I do remember reading about masculine lesbians and that is extremely appealing, but does that make me a liar? Does wanting to present masculine make me a fraud. Am I delusional for wanting to conform to the gender that I was born but not identify as it?

Maybe.

Being weird isn't a bad thing, at least that what John tries to tell me when Dave says I’m being ‘freaky’, (I'm not doing it on purpose, I just want to know more.) For the next couple of hours/ until my mother wakes up I will prepare myself for the onslaught of “affection” and dress up, when I come out.

————————————————

I am 22 years old, I am married and I have been out as a trans lesbian for exactly 10 years now and it has only just come to my attention that I have an extreme desire to be butch. I remember my extreme desire to continue wearing the clothes that I was wearing 1 part because i like them but also because I   
felt like other women would like it too, but now the question is, would my wife enjoy it?

Ok, she said yeah, we don't have to do this anymore.


	2. JANE ‘COMPHET’ CROCKER IS A LESBIAN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for all of yall who have very big opinions on lesbian jane crocker

You always thought you were plain. It wasn't until you were 12 when your father talked to you about your interests and habits and you realized that you weren't as plain as you assume. You were a trans girl. But that was a weird as you got, you liked boys anyway. 

That was a lie.

You didn't like boys in the slightest, you never did and coming to this realization makes you feel bad for all the grievances you made over Jake.

Your father was quite progressive, but the concept of growing up and marrying a man and having children was firmly instilled in you. While there was Dirk and Jake, Dirk was never ‘friendly’ enough for you to see him as a viable candidate for husband/father and in return you decided to crush on Jake.

Your are not normal. You were never normal. This was a problem that not many of your friends face, so they don't understand your concern of fitting in, especially since the society that your trying to appeal to doesn't exist.

Its stupid and you know it is. You also know that no one will care anyway. Roxy and John came out as nonbinary, Jake started using she/her pronouns, Rose and Dave started using they/them pronouns and no one even batted an eye. So what's the problem with you saying ‘I don't wanna date men.’

Nothing. There's not a problem, for all the shit you give Dirk for being melodramatic you surely went on quite a spiel. 

You guess it's quite warranted. Coming to accept the fact that you were wrong when you think you know yourself so intimately. So youre a lesbian, you remember Rose talking about ‘comphet’ and you believe that was your problem. Maybe you’ll ask Japrose to go to a cafe with you and feel this one out.

**Author's Note:**

> i’ll probably make some more, these are mostly my personal headcanons (and kinnie shit) but ill take suggestions


End file.
